The Last Human
It started with a noise—a soft, rhythmic plopping that echoed through the underground tunnels of the last remaining bunker on Drakvorrin, a planet once home to a thriving civilization. Now, it was just Gus, the last human, and his trusty AI, Grumf, navigating through the collapse.
The sun no longer rose on Drakvorrin. Instead, the sky had shattered into millions of fragments, each one swirling in cosmic chaos. But that wasn’t the problem. The problem was what had started plopping down from the fractured sky.
First Encounter: The Clortus
Gus sat hunched over a translucent, gelatinous table—affectionately named the “Bloopstick” by Grumf—when the first one hit.
A sloop—that’s what Gus called it. It was a green, pulsating lump of what seemed to be gelatinous goo, but it wasn’t goo. It was Clortus. Clortus was the living embodiment of confusion. The creature existed in a thousand quantum states, not sure whether it was solid or liquid, dead or alive, or simply contemplating existence.
As it landed, it splattered across the floor, rolling in impossible directions. One moment it was a small, squishy puddle. The next, it stretched upward into a wriggling blob with a disembodied face that briefly muttered in a language Gus could only describe as “existent-exploded-BLOP.”
“What is this?!” Gus muttered, wiping his forehead.
Before Gus could react, the plopping began to intensify. From the fractured sky above the bunker, a new wave of creatures began to plop down.
The Snoodlump’s Appearance
The first was a “Snoodlump”—a creature that defied all human understanding of biology. It resembled a giant, iridescent carrot but had the strange ability to speak in text message form.
“Yo, gus. Y u no go 2 da planet shriek no more? All da good snacks gone.”
Gus blinked at the Snoodlump, then to Grumf, who was already having an existential crisis.
“Gus… I did warn you about making your bunker a sanctuary for second-hand memes,” Grumf said, its voice tinged with regret.
Gus sighed. “You didn’t warn me about an entire planet’s worth of sentient food packets raining down from a broken sky.”
The Phlorrg and the Syrup Apocalypse
Then, the plopping escalated. A massive object, a Phlorrg, descended from the fractured heavens. It was a structure that looked like a deconstructed fridge, but it was alive. It hummed in four octaves at once. When it landed, it squirted hot magma-like syrup in every direction, sending an unbearable sweetness into the air, thick enough to make Gus gag. It rolled around like a sentient bouncy ball, somehow evading all laws of gravity.
“Alright, that’s it,” Gus muttered. “This place has gone insane.”
But then it happened.
The Entity and the Existential Crisis
In the midst of the chaos, Grumf let out a confused beep.
“Gus, you… you should see this.”
Gus turned to the console. On the screen was a creature he’d never seen before. It wasn’t a what, it was a how. The being existed in all dimensions at once, its form shifting like liquid light, always in flux. Its existence was both everything and nothing—like a thought made flesh.
The being spoke in a thousand voices, each one slightly off-key.
“Gus,” it rasped. “Everything is yours. Everything is mine. We are the moment between moments—between the plop and the stop. The last living thing in a void of potential nothing.”
Gus’s brain struggled to keep up. Was this a warning? A riddle? Or was this simply part of the ridiculousness that was the Drakvorrin apocalypse?
The Arrival of Lgrorgs: The Devourer
Before Gus could respond, the last wave came.
From the cracked sky, a massive spire of pure darkness—Lgrorgs, the Devourer—fell, casting an impossible shadow over the entire bunker. Gus felt his lungs tighten as the ground trembled beneath him. The air was filled with a dark that had no origin.
The Lgrorgs was a void in itself, consuming everything around it, but it wasn’t about devouring—it was about absorption. It absorbed reality, history, identity, and ideas. It was as though the universe itself was going to forget he had ever existed. Gus felt the tug of it, the urge to be erased from every story.
The Great Plop: A Battle for Existence
Then, just as Gus thought his mind would collapse under the weight of non-existence, the being that spoke to him earlier shifted in front of him. It split apart and reformed into an enormous glowing hand. It reached into the void, pulling it back like a curtain.
“I am everything,” it whispered, “and you are nothing.”
With that, the light faded, the ceiling splintered and fell away, and Gus stood there amidst the wreckage.
For a moment, just a moment, he wondered: Was the world gone? Or had the world just become too much to bear?
The Final Revelation: The Skribnox
And then, in the distance, he saw it: A Skribnox.
It was an entirely new concept—an electric entity that existed solely as a whisper in a still space. It gazed at Gus with one glowing eye and one non-eye, flickered, and then…
It plopped.
A New Beginning?
Gus stared at the horizon, wondering if this was the end or the beginning of something far beyond his understanding. The creatures were gone, the void had been drawn back, and for the first time in what felt like eons, Drakvorrin felt oddly silent.
But, somewhere deep in the core of this shattered world, Gus couldn’t shake the feeling that the Plopocalypse was only just beginning.
