The Genius Plan
Gerald considered himself a man of unparalleled brilliance — a belief supported by absolutely no evidence. So when his friend Max dared him to fix the office espresso machine, Gerald accepted with the flair of a man about to perform open-heart surgery.
“Step aside, amateurs,” he declared, rolling up his sleeves. “I was born for this.”
Ten minutes later, the breakroom was flooded with scalding coffee, and the machine made a sound like it was summoning demons.
The Date
Despite his espresso fiasco, Gerald remained undeterred. That evening, he arrived at his blind date’s house with a bouquet of wildly inappropriate flowers (cacti) and a confidence that could deflect bullets.
“Prepare yourself for the best date of your life,” he announced.
An hour later, after setting the restaurant’s tablecloth on fire with a fondue fork and getting chased by a very angry goose at the park, his date politely suggested they just be friends.
The Hero Moment
Walking home, Gerald spotted a cat stuck in a tree. Destiny called.
He scaled the branches with the grace of a sloth on roller skates. The cat, unimpressed, launched itself at his face. Moments later, Gerald dangled upside down by his pants, while the cat strolled away unscathed.
A small crowd applauded.
The Reflection
Back home, nursing his wounds with an ice pack and his pride with a pizza, Gerald stared at the ceiling.
“Maybe… just maybe… I’m not as invincible as I thought.”
The universe held its breath.
“Nah.”
And somewhere, a pigeon shook its head in disbelief.
