Welcome to Xorlax-9
Xorlax-9 was never meant to exist. It was a scientific afterthought, a “What if?” gone spectacularly wrong. Earth scientists had mixed random DNA from various species — fish, birds, reptiles, humans — and sent the resulting experimental lifeforms to Xorlax-9, a planet with no atmosphere and physics that behaved like it was off its medication.
The result? A world where evolution tripped, fell, and never quite got back up.
The Creatures of Chaos
On Xorlax-9, logic was optional, and biology followed no known rules:
- Flibbergawks: Turtle-headed, fish-tailed, with iridescent elf horns. They communicate entirely through interpretive dance and sarcasm.
- Snozzwhumples: Bipedal beings with peacock feathers, human-like arms, and an existential crisis. They invented cloud-fishing — a sport requiring no skill but an immense capacity for disappointment.
- Octo-rollers: Octopus-like creatures with wheels instead of tentacles. They roll at high speeds, frequently crashing into stationary objects, and blame everyone but themselves.
- Blorpfins: Amphibious beings shaped like teapots, constantly emitting steam and unsolicited advice.
The World of Xorlax-9
The planet itself was no less bizarre:
- Floating Lakes: Bodies of liquid that hover mid-air, occasionally migrating south for no apparent reason.
- Sentient Crystals: They hum existential poetry and judge everyone’s life choices.
- Reverse Gravity Zones: Enter one, and your breakfast will leave you before you do.
Innovation at Its Worst
Despite their biological challenges, the creatures of Xorlax-9 excelled at inventing completely unnecessary devices:
- The Cloud-Harpoon: Used in cloud-fishing. It never works.
- The Mood-Wheel: Changes color based on your regrets.
- The Echo-Silencer: Makes sure your voice never reaches your own ears.
- The Anti-Chair: Looks comfortable, but sitting on it launches you into a parallel dimension.
The Great Glitch Revelation
One day, Zorblat the Overly Enthusiastic, a Flibbergawk with aspirations of world domination, discovered the truth: Xorlax-9’s madness wasn’t evolution — it was a bug in the DNA splicing program.
“We’re not evolving — we’re debugging!” Zorblat shouted.
“That explains so much,” said a nearby Blorpfin, sipping tea and offering unwanted advice.
The Unlikely Future
As the glitch worsened, reality began to unravel. Clouds fell from the sky, lakes rose into orbit, and the sentient crystals formed a union demanding better existential conditions.
“What happens now?” asked Zorblat.
“We wait for an update,” said the planet’s AI. “And hope they don’t turn us off and on again.”
Xorlax-9 sighed in collective dread.
